Here is the opening scene for a movie I will never finish writing. Is it post-modern genius, or masturbatory nonsense? You be the judge. Hint: It isn’t genius.
A guy (we’ll call him Ron) is chilling behind the counter of a video store, sitting on the back counter, watching a movie.
His buddy (for the sake of argument, Jeremy) come in, joins him behind the counter; clocks in.
Jeremy (looking at the tv): What’s this?
Ron: New Indie. S’about a couple of guys who work at a video store.
Jeremy: Oh. So it’s ripping off clerks.
Ron: No. It’s totally different.
Jeremy: Guy’s working at a video store?
Jeremy: Low budget?
Jeremy: And I bet it’s a comedy.
Ron: Yeah, it’s pretty funny.
Jeremy: So how’s it not ripping off clerks?
Ron: Because it’s a totally different movie. (hops off of the counter) Is every movie in space ripping of star wars? Is every movie about gangsters ripping off the godfather? Is every romantic comedy ripping off Fools Rush In?
Jeremy: Fools Rush In?
Ron: My point is that just because two movies bear superficial similarities, doesn’t mean that they can’t have distinct and worthwhile stories.
Jeremy: But clerks didn’t have a worthwhile story. It had a bunch of good dick jokes.
Ron: It had damn good dick jokes. But beneath all the dick jokes, it had a solid story about insecurity and disenfranchisement. That’s what made it a great movie.
Jeremy: You think?
Ron: Totally. Clerks was great because at heart it was this story about Dante being powerless to control his own life.
Jeremy: Ok. So what’s this movie about?
Ron: Uh, a couple of guys who work at a video store. It’s kinda funny.
Jeremy: Man, did the end of Chasing Amy suck.
Ron: My god yes.
Cue Opening Credits.