Woo!

Today has been fun!
I woke up to discover freezing rain, and a lack of snowshovels.
That’s cool; I gave myself an extra half hour to get to work.
And when I got stuck in the thick snow in my driveway, there were no worries. I grabbed a gravedigging shovel and fifteen minutes later, I’m on the road.
Did I mention this is my first year driving in the snow?
I took that curve on Center Rd. a mite too fast. I bet the 180 looked really cool to the guy in the car behind me.
Once I realized I wasn’t dead, and that I was facing the wrong way and bizarrely was right in front of my girlfriend’s house, it seemed smart to pull in to her drive, and calm down.
This was my mistake.
Needless to say, I got stuck. Stupidly and thoroughly.
Forty minutes later, after I, along with my girlfriend, her grandma, and her dad, finished playing get the dumbass’s car out of the mud, I was on my way.
I got to work 45 minutes late.
Now I sit, barefoot, my jeans covered in mud, writing in my blog when I should be working.
And I’m happy. Sure I’m freezing and dirty. Yes, the ordeal to get here was terrible, stressful, and embarrassing. Yes, I’m aware that all the rain will freeze, making the drive home more treacherous. And sure, I still have to do my job. But right now I’m quite happy.

A dialog on metaphysics

What follows is a dialogue between characters in a script I am writing. Some form of this scene may or may not end up in the final cut.

Jack: Do Transformers have souls?

Brian: You mean cars that turn into robots?

Jack: I mean robots that turn into cars.

Brian: Well, yeah. Absolutely.

Jack: Even though they are artificial constructs?

Brian: To hell with “artificial constructs.” Have you ever seen a nobility as great as Optimus Prime or a loyalty as fierce as Bumblebee’s?

Jack: Ok, but does the same hold true of the “evil forces of the Decepticons?”

Brian: Yeah. Treachery and ambition require a soul. That’s what makes them evil.

Jack: Right on. So does the disposition of the souls fall along party lines? Do all Autobots go to heaven, while every last Decepticon has a date with the robot devil?

Brian: For the moment accepting the premise of robot heaven and hell, concepts that I’m not sure that I believe in, I’d say that yes, choosing between the ideology of Autobots and that of the Decepticons is actively choosing between good and evil.

Jack: That cut and dry, eh? No exceptions?

Brian: Look, the philosophy of the Transformers is ideologically pure. If you are an Autobot, you are noble and selfless. If you are selfish and destructive, then you throw your lot in with the Decepticons. The whole tale is mythological in scope.

Jack: That’s just the skewed viewpoint of the conflict, presented by Hasbro with the goal of selling toys. It served their needs to have a “good guy” faction and a “bad guy” faction. In reality, neither side was good or evil, they just had conflicting agendas. Saying “all Decepticons are evil,” is absurdly propagandistic.

Brian: Whoa. You just took this conversation way off of the map.

Originally published at The Triangle. You can comment here or there.

A dialoge on metaphysics

What follows is a dialogue between characters in a script I am writing. Some form of this scene may or may not end up in the final cut.

Jack: Do Transformers have souls?

Brian: You mean cars that turn into robots?

Jack: I mean robots that turn into cars.

Brian: Well, yeah. Absolutely.

Jack: Even though they are artificial constructs?

Brian: To hell with “artificial constructs.” Have you ever seen a nobility as great as Optimus Prime or a loyalty as fierce as Bumblebee’s?

Jack: Ok, but does the same hold true of the “evil forces of the Decepticons?”

Brian: Yeah. Treachery and ambition require a soul. That’s what makes them evil.

Jack: Right on. So does the disposition of the souls fall along party lines? Do all Autobots go to heaven, while every last Decepticon has a date with the robot devil?

Brian: For the moment accepting the premise of robot heaven and hell, concepts that I’m not sure that I believe in, I’d say that yes, choosing between the ideology of Autobots and that of the Decepticons is actively choosing between good and evil.

Jack: That cut and dry, eh? No exceptions?

Brian: Look, the philosophy of the Transformers is ideologically pure. If you are an Autobot, you are noble and selfless. If you are selfish and destructive, then you throw your lot in with the Decepticons. The whole tale is mythological in scope.

Jack: That’s just the skewed viewpoint of the conflict, presented by Hasbro with the goal of selling toys. It served their needs to have a “good guy” faction and a “bad guy” faction. In reality, neither side was good or evil, they just had conflicting agendas. Saying “all Decepticons are evil,” is absurdly propagandistic.

Brian: Whoa. You just took this conversation way off of the map.

Doing it bloggy style (see previous entry)

I wrote the following at work today. My mood has not improved since.

I must escape my job before it destroys me.

I am surrounded by Christmas Cheer. People in fucking elf hats and antler headpieces.

People chide me for not decorating my desk with Christmas accessories thematically coordinated with the other desks in my department.

Last night, the department next to mine had people staying after until midnight, decorating their cube farm. Such time and effort channeled into something so banal.

I sit alone at my desk, decorated with evil clown pictures, and I feel bile and disconnect. These people are not me. But if I stay here too long, I fear I may become them.

3:22 p.m. 12/16/04

Not From The Moon Anymore

Hey Gang,

Dispatches From the Moon is going on hiatus. Possibly permanent hiatus. You see, when I started Dispatches, it was an exercise done solely for my own benefit. It was weird enough that I wasn’t sure if anyone would “get it.” Some of you did, and I’m glad. But somewhere along the line, the strip changed on me. It lost whatever it was that I had liked about it. I was writing it, not for my benefit, but for my little audience. It had become an unsatisfying chore.

So I’m stopping it. Maybe down the road, I’ll come up with a new story for Isaac or Lauren. I’m not ready to completely abandon it.

So, as of today, this is just another blog. My blog. Feel free to purge me from your friends list.

If you stick around, I will be trying to make this feed worth reading. Along with typical “dear diary” shit, I will be dumping a lot of short fiction bits onto the feed. The sort of thing I had been putting onto the main site, (http://www.cautionwetfloor.com) only hopefully with more frequency.

Also, I have enabled commenting. I love discourse.

last chance

So we were gone from the moon for a month, and we’ve been back for a week. Todd missed his rocket to Earth and to Mandy.

He knows it may already be too late. That rocket was his last chance. Nevertheless, he left the moon today, on a rocket to Earth. I wish him luck.

exact and accurate

What I have explained as happening in Heaven are not exact and accurate descriptions of events. The lack of mass and time in Heaven makes it difficult to narrate things that happen there.

I don’t think we who went there will ever fully understand what happened.

dirty

Those of us from Earth left Heaven, as did all those who had entered Heaven through the portal. The Moonian faith is such that shortcutting into Heaven feels dirty to them.

The Moonians were grateful for the opportunity to return to the moon and attempt to gain entry the honest way.

wedge

And my sister arrived. She had apparently found friends on the moon who were as crazy as her, and they all had decided to “Mount a rescue.”

What happened next was confusing, because of the nature of time and space within Heaven. One of the Young Gods was able to wedge open the path into Heaven. This created an exit where there normally was none.

Of course, it still needed to be decided who would use the exit.

corrupting presence

The Young Gods did not know what to do with Todd and me. We were the first people from Earth to ever enter their domain.

They told us that we were a corrupting presence, one that could destroy the delicate framework of goodness that formed Heaven. They tried to be very clear that this was in no way meant as a negative judgment upon our character.

It’s still the sort of thing that hurts, you know?

wondering

Heaven is not like the moon. There is no matter or energy, but there is being and form. Also, in heaven, time does not move like it does here, but I’m almost used to that.

The first thing that happened in Heaven was that we met The Younger Pantheon. For Blynne this was exciting, a dream come true. For Todd and I, it was fascinating, but also scary.

We were wondering if you could be in Heaven without being dead.