The December meeting of the William Shatner Bad Movie and Ice Cream Appreciation Society was held yesterday, and as always, a not-at-all-good movie was watched and ice cream was consumed. Attending were Tessa, Adam, Krista, Josh, Stephanie, Mitt, and myself, although Mitt had to leave early, so she missed the TOTALLY MINDBLOWING SURPRISE TWIST.
This month’s feature was Falcon Down, an action thriller starring Dale “Time Trax” Midkiff, Judd Nelson, and featuring Bill Shatner as Carson. That’s right, William Shatner, our club’s namesake, the man who each and every month hand picks a movie for us to watch, was actually in Falcon Down. This is the first time this has happened.
Midkiff plays Hank, the only pilot who can possibly fly The Falcon, an experimental jet that can melt people’s brains with microwaves. He joins a rag-tag group of mercenaries in a scheme to steal the jet to keep it from being sold to the Chinese government. After it is stolen, in a totally unexpected twist, one that could not be anticipated by anyone ever unless either they were some kind of precognitive genius or had seen movies before, it is revealed that the criminal mercenaries are actually the bad guys. So he kills them all and escapes.
This film’s charms are subtle. On the surface it is nothing more than standard B Movie dreck. And it certainly is that! But what really makes this film stand out is that scattered throughout the film at what appear to be random intervals are pseudo-documentary style scenes in which crackpots with blurred faces make the argument that the Falcon was CREATED BY ALIENS!! Nothing in the rest of the film supports this angle. It totally feels like 3 months after the movie had been shot, the director saw Blair Witch and was hit with inspiration. I’m glad he tacked these scenes on, for I think they are what make this film really work as a bad movie.
Even aside from those scenes, this movie had plenty upon which to marvel. I liked it when Hank saved Evil Mercenary Chick With A Gun Who Is Trying To Kill Him because he was raised to be a gentleman, and y’know, she’s a girl. I also loved the total lack of cabin depressurization during the in-flight gunfights.
I found The character of the Evil Chinese General who was paying the mercenaries to steal the magic jet, the supposed Supervillian of the piece, to be a fascinating character. For reasons unclear, this character was consistently portrayed as calm, rational and pleasant guy who just happened to want a brain melting laser jet. This stood in stark contrast contrast to Midkiff’s performance as the hotheaded and deeply stupid Hank.
This Month’s ice creams were Moose Tracks, Turtle Tracks, and some sort of half-calorie health crap.
Originally published at The Triangle. You can comment here or there.