I think it is time for a modern, cross-platform reimagining of Captain N. Some
dude who plays too many video games gets teleported INSIDE THE TV, where his
innate video game mastery makes him an instant hero. He’d have Wii
Nunchucks that he’d use like REAL nunchucks.
His allies would include:
Niko Bellic, boring and nice, our token ethnic.
Marcus Feenix, the effeminate one.
Gordon Freemon, a real wisecracker.
Cooking Mama, the token sexy lady.
They would drive around in their Warthog fighting GladOS’s army of Big
Daddies. GladOS would have a trusted lieutenant in Ken Kutaragi. Every
thing Ken tells GladOS would make TOTAL SENSE, but be ignored by GladOS.
They would also be in a Pop Band and all play Guitar Hero instruments.
I’ve got a great idea for a video game. I call it Buy Me Nachos.
It is pretty cutting edge. Gameplay takes place in an “open world”
environment that is actually scaled 1:1 with reality. The player does not
pay for the game itself, but instead is charged a series of
“microtransactions” as they obtain in-game items.
Players assume the role of an agent working for a mysterious mastermind
known as Isaac. Gameplay consists of a variety of exciting missions in
various locales dripping with Latin ambiance. Players start with basic
fetch quests like the classic “Go to Taco Bell and Pick Up Isaac Some
Nachos” scenario, moving on to the more complicated “Go to Chipotle and Make
Sure They Don’t Forget to Put Extra Cheese on Isaac’s Fajita” quest.
The final boss fight involves a Choco-Taco.
So I made a thing last week. People seem to be having fun with it. Check
Go! Run and play!