Earthworm Jim 2
Super Nintendo
Shiny Entertainment
1994

I hate dogs. Hate ‘em. Mean ones, friendly ones. Tiny ones, big ones, the whole lot are a blight upon this world.

In Earthworm Jim 2 there is a stage where Psy-Crow will throw puppies in the air, and your job is to use a trampoline to safely ferry them to Peter Puppy, will put them in a dog house. Every time you miss a puppy it makes a very satisfying splat upon the ground. That splat feels so good, I want so very much to let them all drop. Of course, if too many puppies splatter, Peter Puppy will maul you to death.

So there I stand, torn between two ancient impulses, the urge to murder puppies, and the urge to not be murdered by same. This is what game theorists call the Puppies Dilemma. Needless to say, I will never beat Earthworm Jim 2.